You can’t blame the people who run hostels; just imagine trying to control hundreds of sexually-charged youths cramped into sardine tins. Most of them have never once washed their own clothes, and now they’re being trusted with kitchen appliances, cooking utensils, and heaven forbid, an unrestricted supply of alcohol.
It’s no wonder why hostel proprietors need to get creative to control the unruliness. These photos (taken in a small hostel we stayed at on the French side of Montreal) show just how crazy the landlords themselves can get.
No Smoking (… It’s illegal to Kill!)
This hostel proprietor knows that when smokers want to smoke, they’ll do so regardless of the rules. So why not take the message a step further with the following requests:
- “Do not upset our distinguished clientele with… death”
- “Smoking inside is criminal” because “Secondary smokes are killing” and, in case you weren’t aware, “It’s ILLEGAL to KILL”
No Pollution (… the largest human genocide)
This time the proprietor really gets on a roll. For what? For toilet paper of course.
- “More energy means more pollution” … Okay, I agree
- “Pollution kills millions of people every year” … Very true
- “[Pollution] is the largest genocide of human history”… Huh?
- But who cares about genocide when “what you are wasting … is my salary”
No Waste (… are you a killer?)
It would be foolhardy to make assumptions about this hostel proprietor, because this warning shows that he knows what buttons to push. You see, he knows that while we all say we care about the environment, we don’t care enough to curb our energy usage. So here he uses a less orthodox approach:
- First he asks sincerely… “Please, be kind stop killing!”
- And for the capitalist whores… “Wasted hydro-electricity cannot be sold”
- Then he throws in mother nature for good measure “And that’s polluting a lot”
- Before threatening us personally “…pollution kills millions of people”
- Finally, he goes for the jugular… “Are YOU a KILLER?”
Do you have any great hostel signs to share? We’d love to see them.